‘Dear…’ (4)


Dear Ford,

Yeah, yeah, I know you’re probably rolling your eyes and wondering why you are reading this. You probably have business to do and you’re very busy right now, but please take a minute or two to read this. I promise it won’t be long.

First of all, please don’t try to understand who I am. You don’t know me and I don’t want you to. I know you, but you’ve already figured that out. Please don’t try to hack into my computer to see who I am because I don’t think you’d like what you’d find. Just know that I know a lot about you and I like you.

I am writing this because I just read your book and I am very impressed. I liked you a lot in Rook’s books and story, but now it’s something else. You’re more real to me. Better. Smarter. Sexier. Sweet.

I don’t think you are a freak. Yes, you are a genius, a real one. You are so smart sometimes it’s hard to understand you.  And you’re mind is complicated. But I still understand you. You wanna know why and how? Because you and I are a lot alike.

I have a pretty fucked up and complicated mind too. Sometimes I don’t even understand myself. My thoughts are so tangled and loud and they pressure me and I feel like there’s not enough room for my thoughts in my head. And sometimes I get pretty tiredof this all and it makes me feel like a freak.

I feel like you do. Sometimes I feel like I can’t catch up with my mind and it scares the living hell out of me. I feel like I am a freak because I like things I shouldn’t like. I like weird things, things that other people can’t like.

People don’t understand me, but I think you would. I think we’d get along pretty well because we both have a freaky mind.

Now, you are probably wondering why I am telling you all this shit. I want to make you understand that you are not the only freak around. You are not a loner or a weirdo or an awful person. And you are not lonely. There are other “freaks” around. Now, I am not saying that I am a genius too, because I am not. I may be really smart, but not a genius. I can’t even do my maths homework without a headache, for fuck’s sake!

I think you are a great man. Amazing, honestly. And this book I just read proved me that. You are such a kind soul and such a handsome man, you can’t even imagine.

You don’t like feelings. I get it. I don’t like them either. They scare me. I don’t know how to cope with them or how to feel them. Sometimes I am really cold with people I supposedly love. And right now I am admitting this to the whole world and it’s fucking scary, you know? But you’ve already done that and I think you are brave.

I also think you are brave because you had the courage to accept true love and to accept your feelings. You have Ashleigh now and Kate. You are so brave for accepting them in your life, you can’t even imagine.

What you did for Ashleigh and Kate was so kind, it warmed my heart. And again, it proved me that you are not a freak.

You’re also a very interesting person. I mean, you can hack anything you want! I would kill to be able to do that! You are also a genius and this cold appearance you have is very attracting and it makes you look smart. And you really are smart.

My point it, stop thinking of you as a freak or a monster. And that accident? It wasn’t your fault. Things like this happen, and it wasn’t your fault. And to be honest? I would’ve done the same things. I would’ve tried to save my father too. So stop blaming yourself.

Truthfully, I’ve never liked you with Rook anyway. She’s too soft for you. She can’t keep up with you. You need someone smart, someone strong, someone who can keep up with you. Someone like Ashleigh. I like  you two together. You complete each other. And I like the way you two love each other, even if it’s difficult for you to love and be happy about it.

You and Kate? I still haven’t decided if it’s cute or hot. Probably both.

Ford, always be you. Because you have an amazing personality. I think Ashleigh can agree with me, right? Oh, by the way, greetings for Ashleigh and Kate! J

Ok, then. I am going to leave you now. Just remember that I like you. I hope you have a happy life. I really hope you do.

Love always,



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