O noua rubrica. Nu e nici despre carti, nici despre filme, nici despre muzica. E despre mine si scrisul meu. In rubrica “Midnight Stories” voi posta, de fiecare data cand scriu ceva, mici povestioare pe care le-am scris. Majoritatea vor fi in engleza pentru ca mi se pare ca scriu mai bine si mai usor in engleza. Sunt sigura ca voi scrie si in romana, numai ca nu acum.
De scris m-am apucat mai serios vara asta. Am un caiet, terminat pe jumatate, in care scriu o poveste a mea. Nu va spun despre ce e vorba si nici nu va voi impartasi paragrafe pentru ca e genul de poveste personala pe care nu vrei sa o impartasesti cu nimeni, ca altfel isi pierde farmecul.
Cand am chef mai scriu si mici povestioare care nu au legatura una cu alta, dar care au radacina in imaginatia mea. Sper sa va placa!
I’ve always considered myself a boring person. A normal girl. A mediocre teenager.
“No one. You’re no one.”
The wickedness in his voice is still fresh in my memory. It will always be. It will always hurt as if it happened yesterday.
Even though it didn’t.
That was a year and a half ago.
And it still hurts like hell.
I remember that it hurt. Looking at him in that moment, when his eyes were pitch black and so full of evil and so indifferent in the same time – it hurt. His words hurt like punches. And I still remember it. Every single detail of it. Every moment. Every breath I took. Everything he told me. Thinking about it only makes those tears come again.
But today I won’t let them spill. Today I won’t do it again. Today it’ll be different.
I realize then that I have to do something. In that moment I make my decision. He will pay. He’ll beg for mercy, but I won’t give it to him. Like he didn’t give me what I needed two years ago.
The range that takes over me would scare me if I could feel anything beside rage; determination; power.
I’ve spent two years thinking about him, replaying in my head everything I’ve done. Everything I’ve said, everything he said. And I don’t get it.
But I’m going to find out. Today I will.
I get up from the chair I was sitting in, the one that gives me a view of the entire Manhattan. I take my keys for the Ferrari I stole 2 years ago and no one found it and get out of the penthouse I broke into 2 years ago. No one seems to notice it that my contract isn’t actually real. They believe I paid for this and I’m laughing at them because they are all fools.
They will all be sorry. They got me where I am. They made me the monster I am today. The monster in me was born after an unfortunate chain of events.
Pushing the gas pedal, the black Ferrari that’s been my friend for two years now launches forward. I smile.
I bet he’s laughing right now. Eating maybe. Or maybe he’s sad. Angry. Miserable. I hope he is. I hope he knows how he made me feel. I hope he won’t get another day of happiness ever in his life.
I won’t let him. Today will be the day his eyes will close and never open again.
Because this is what I want. Exactly like he wanted me to turn me into this.
I don’t know if what he did was on purpose or he just acted on instinct. And I don’t know if I care either. I don’t. He made me hurt. That moment changed my entire life. That moment made me take a decision and he will be sorry for pushing me towards it.
I’ve become a monster. I’ve killed hundreds of innocent people just because I felt like doing it. And I can’t even find a ounce of regret or guilt in myself. I enjoyed doing it. And today I’m going to do it again. And tomorrow I will doing it again.
Because I can.
And I will.
I realize then that I am at his apartment. I get out of the Ferrari. I don’t even have a plan for this, but I don’t need one. I’m the best in the entire world. People fear me, like I’ve feared them for 16 years. But no anymore. It’s their turn to feel paralizing fear.
I climb the stair to his apartment almost running. My blood is boiling in my veins and I’m about to explode. My heart is pounding. But I’m smiling, enjoying myself. I reach his door exactly when I think I’m going to explode.
I slowly open it, giving him time to realize what’s happening and giving me time to calm down. I need my head clear for this.
I find him in his bedroom. Everything’s clean. Books are scattered on the floor. He’s reading a book with a funny cover on his bed. But he stops dead when he realizes that someone is in his room. He lifts his eyes from the book.
And then he freezes. The recognation in his eyes makes me smile. He remembers me.
“Hello, D. Do you remember me?”
My voice is calm. I’m polite.
But his eyes are scared and I’m thrilled.
“Wh-what are y-you doing h-here? How did you…”
“Get it here? Well, you’re such a moron that you didn’t relize you left your door open.”
He looks startled. He tries to get up from the bed but I don’t let him.
“Hey. Easy. What are you doing?”
“What am I doing here?”
“Yes. What are you doing here?” he tries to act like he’s brave, but I can see the fear in his eyes. I understand then that he knows my reputations and the fact that I’m unstoppable.
“Aren’t you happy to see me?”
I sound disappointed.
“I mean… I… well, I’m definitely surprised to see you here and I want to know what you want from me.”
“What I want from you? That’s simple.”
I don’t slap him. I don’t touch him. I just look at him like I look at my every victim. Calm and angry in the same time. I fix him and tell him with my eyes what I want from him.
And then I see it. The look in his eyes. He understands. Today’s going to be his last day.
I’m thrilled. Excited. Happy.
He looks scared, but I know he’s going to put on a fight, like I know that he won’t stand a chance.
“I want to make you pay.”